‘Getaway’: Get away!

August 30, 2013


“Getaway” is like the ultimate reductionist car-centric action film. It feels less like a movie made from an actual script and more like director Courtney Solomon composed a list of things he wanted to put in, then assembled those items into something that vaguely resembled a movie.

If there were a list of ingredients on the side of the DVD, here are a few of the things you get a lot of in this movie:

Scenes that look like they were filmed on surveillance cameras.

Scenes that look like they were shot with webcams.

Shots of Ethan Hawke’s feet dancing between the clutch, brake and gas pedals.

Shots of Ethan Hawke’s face looking concerned.

An obscene number of cars crashing.

At least two massive fireball explosions.

Automatic weapon fire directed at Hawke’s high-powered car that somehow never hits the windows (let alone Hawke).

Jon Voight doing an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation off-camera.

Selena Gomez cursing while trying to act bad-ass.

Here are some of the ingredients you won’t find:

Selena Gomez convincing you she’s actually bad-ass.

Selena Gomez convincing you she can act.

Jon Voight on-camera.

Action that doesn’t make you feel as though you’ve suffered a head injury.

A plot that makes sense.

A plot – period.

Watching “Getaway” is like watching a friend play a race-car videogame. Over and over and over again for 90 minutes. Without ever offering you a turn.

That’s some people’s idea of fun, I guess. But not mine.

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